30 Puckurt Drabbles
by PteraWaters
Summary: 30 Drabbles, once per day, for the puckurt comm on LJ. No theme. M Rating for Drabbles 9, 19, 21 and 24. Drabble 29: Trust-verse Camping. Drabble 30: The End.
1. Drabble 1 Crash

**Drabble 1**

Sinking, slowly sinking into what if and might have been, you hold his hand and watch a drop of blood roll away. Fire, water, sirens, smoke, the crunch of glass under your ground-up hands as they pull him away from you.

"No! No, bring him back!"

You shout as if no one can hear you, because it's painfully obvious he can't.

They come back for you once he's already gone, sawing, crunching, freeing you from this day that never happened. Except you're not dying.

"You're okay, Noah!" some lady says, like you'd believe her anyway. The world's gone blurry without him, and you are not okay.

His skull's been crushed by that other car. You saw it happen, you saw the world ending in halogen lights and six cylinder mayhem. You saw him die.

It's more painful than you ever imagined and it has nothing to do with the cast around your arm. You abandon hope to legal narcotics and the haze gets worse until-

He smiles and sits down on your bed, looking more like the sixteen year old boy he used to be than the man he's become.

"I'm okay, Noah," he says patting your leg over the blanket and it's not fair because you wanted to feel his touch one last time.

Your arm throws a clot and you pass on before anyone knew you were in trouble and he's waiting for you, arms outstretched and here's that might-have-been you've been looking for.

You laugh and say, "Some first date."

He kisses you away.


	2. Drabble 2 WWII AU

The soldier burst into the office that served as Kurt's interrogation room in a blaze of bullets and blood, killing the guards, one of whom Kurt had known since primary school. Terrified, Kurt put up his hands as best he could while handcuffed to his chair.

The soldier, whose eyes blazed dark with battle under short-shorn black hair, lowered his weapon and asked in American-accented English, "Any more?"

Looking down on the dead man that before the war he thought was his friend, Kurt shook his head. Only him left now.

Dropping to one knee, gun still at the ready, the soldier searched his victims' pockets until he found the handcuff key, tossing it to Kurt before searching the rest of the room. When Kurt was free, he kept his hands up and in plain sight, not wanting to meet his end at the barrel of an American gun.

When the soldier's eyes came back around to Kurt, he tilted his head and smirked, "You don't look Jewish."

In explanation, Kurt turned so the soldier could see the pink triangle on his armband. He nodded in understanding and leaned to the side, eyeing Kurt's rear end. "What's your name?"

"Kurt," he replied, lowering his hands as the man continued to size him up.

Finally meeting Kurt's eyes, the soldier smiled and said, "I'm Noah." Stepping toward the door, he held out his free hand and jerked his head toward the exit. "C'mon, doll. I'm getting you out of here."

Kurt took the soldier's hand with a relieved smile, thinking maybe his life wasn't at its end after all.


	3. Drabble 3  Dr Who Xover

"Wow," Kurt asked the man in the bow tie as he pulled a moist towelette from his bag to get rid of the slime on his shoe, "those were really aliens?"

"Yes," the man grinned, waving some sort of device at the locked gate still trapping them in the University's science facility. After a moment it popped open and the man left, crying, "That was an alien!"

"How exciting!" Kurt replied, running to catch up with the man. "And who are you?"

"I'm the doctor," he said, dropping off a short ledge and walking quickly toward a blue box at the far end of the quad.

Kurt ran to catch up, asking, "What sort of name is that? And although I appreciate the outfit, especially the bow tie, you could really do with some designer labels. Believe me, there's a difference."

The doctor stopped and turned around, tugging on his bow tie and pouting, "But this is authentic thirty-first century Alterran. I paid a mint for it. Or, I guess I did. Wait, is three mints a thousand pounds, or is it the other way around? Currency always confuses me."

Kurt raised one eyebrow at the doctor and crossed his arms over his chest. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"I'm from Britain," the doctor announced proudly, turning to leave again before Kurt called out to stop him.

"No," he huffed, catching up again. "No, that's not it. You're an alien, aren't you?"

The doctor grinned, "Yep!"

"Why do you look human?"

The doctor shook his head and started walking again, taking long strides as he laughed and asked, "Why do you look Time Lord?"

"Where are you going?"

"See that?" the doctor pointed ahead to the box, which was rapidly drawing closer. "That's my ship. I travel through time and space."

Kurt stood open-mouthed for half a second before running to catch up and asking, "Can I come with? Just for a little while?"

The doctor rolled his eyes and said, "Fine. Come with! Might as well!"

"Can my husband come too?" Kurt asked, suddenly feeling sheepish when the doctor turned on him again, looking confused. "What?"

"How old are you, Kurt Hummel?"

"Twenty-one."

"And already married?" The doctor clucked his tongue. "I thought I was in the twenty-first century, though you said husband, so I'm guessing I can't be any earlier and-"

"Well after I got _pregnant_," Kurt broke in, clapping a hand over his mouth in mortification. He and Noah never talked about that anymore.

Tilting his head, the doctor turned his device on Kurt, waving it up and down as it made a wavering sort of noise and looking at it before deciding, "But you're a human male. You shouldn't have that technology for another three hundred years."

"It wasn't technology," Kurt tried to explain. "It just happened. None of the doctors – well, the medical doctors – could explain it."

"So, you're a parent?" the doctor asked, looking very concerned.

"No," Kurt shook his head sadly. "I miscarried at twelve weeks, after we got married. We're waiting a few years before we try again."

"Kurt," the doctor said, stepping forward and squeezing both Kurt's shoulders, "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your husband is an alien."

"No," Kurt insisted. "No, he's not. He's just as human as you or I-oh. Oh."

"Probably doesn't even know he's an alien," the doctor shrugged, "but if he impregnated you, something's going on. You mind if I take a look?"

"You're not going to hurt him," Kurt demanded, giving the doctor a hard look in the eye until he nodded. "Then he's this way, Doctor. Try to keep up."

"Brilliant," the doctor grinned, rubbing his hands together like he couldn't wait to tackle the puzzle that was Kurt's husband, Noah Puckerman. Kurt was tempted to tell him it was an impossible task, but he was too curious of what this doctor would find. Puck being an alien _would_ explain a lot…


	4. Drabble 4 Trust verse fluff

Drabble 4 - Trust!verse

Ariel R. P. Hudson (don't tell anyone the R. P. stood for Rose Penelope) was the kind of girl who loved sticking her nose in things, just to see what would happen. Usually nothing happened, or one of her daddies pulled her out of trouble before anything bad happened. Sometimes she got in trouble and sometimes she got a laugh, which she had quickly learned meant that people liked you.

For instance, when Ariel first found out that she was going to have a baby brother and she found out from the internet where baby brothers came from, she broke the rules and stuck her head into her fathers' bedroom, to make sure they weren't making another baby brother. From what she could gather and the way her Daddy Finn yelled at her, they totally were.

This story, however, is about the day Ariel broke the rule involving what to call her fathers. At home she called them by Daddy plus their first name. Daddy Finn, Daddy Noah, Daddy Kurt, and Daddy Dave. Outside the house she was supposed to call two of her daddies Uncle Kurt and Uncle Dave. Ariel hated this rule. What was the big deal if she slipped up and called them Daddy? It was true. Whatever. Ariel followed this particular rule until the day Daddy Dave told her where she had come from. She had come from Daddy Noah's stomach!

It was the next day that she started formulating a plan. It was also that day, about five minutes after the plan was formulated, that she set her plan into motion. Daddy Noah was sneaky; Ariel knew this for sure. He was much better than her other daddies at games like hide and go seek and monkey in the middle. She knew she would have to spring her rule-breaking at the most opportune moment – in front of her other daddies – or face a tickle-monster of revenge.

Ariel found this moment when she found her daddies eating breakfast around the dining room table. She'd already eaten hours ago, and they were being lazy Saturday bums still sticking around, reading the paper and feeding each other waffles. Very carefully, Ariel ran past the dining room, fell, and held her knee to her chest pretending it had been skinned. "Owieee!"

Her daddies came running, just like she thought they would. "It hurts!"

"I know, baby," her Daddy Noah said, pulling her close (even though his belly was getting pretty big, trying to hold her baby brother in while he finished cooking – Ariel still didn't understand why they didn't just use the oven). "Want me to kiss it better?"

"Yeah," Ariel nodded, pushing out a few fake tears and watching as her Daddy Noah kissed her knee.

He pulled back and asked, "How does that feel?"

"Much better, "Ariel agreed, getting to her feet and hugging around Daddy Noah's neck. As she let go and stepped back, she said, "Thanks, Mommy," grinned at all her other daddies, and ran away.

From around the corner, she could hear a little bit of silence, then her Daddy Noah saying, "Wait, _what_? _Mommy_?" and then the rest of her daddies laughing very loudly. Ariel smiled and took her victory to her room, hugging Mr. Snuggle-pants and planning when she could say "Mommy" next.


	5. Drabble 5 A Pirate's Life

"Weigh anchor!" Captain Hummel cried, nodding with satisfaction as his first mate, Finn, relayed the order and their ship began moving. Turning to Finn, Captain Hummel said, "You're in charge while I talk to our new prisoner. Don't screw up."

"Aye-aye, Captain!" Finn cried, saluting as he took the wheel. It was a good thing they were in the open ocean, because there was nothing around for miles and miles on which Finn could breech the hull.

Nodding to his crew members as he passed, Captain Hummel made his way down to the brig, where they were storing the man they had just come across. He'd just been there in the water, floating in a long boat going neither here nor there. "It's alright, Dave," Captain Hummel told his one-eyed quartermaster when he got below decks, "you can leave us. Mr. Puckerman and I need to have a chat."

The burly man nodded and went above, leaving Captain Hummel alone with the prisoner.

"Just what do you think you're doing here, Puck?" Captain Hummel asked, sitting on a barrel and crossing one leg over his knee, hands folded on top of them. "I thought I marooned you two weeks ago. How did you get a boat?"

Smiling through cracked lips, Puck lazily leaned forward against the bars and said, "It's good to see you, too, Kurt. Still working on forgiving me?"

"I thought the point of marooning you," Kurt sighed, "was so that I wouldn't have to forgive you. It was my birthday, Noah, and you completely forgot."

"I'm sorry, baby," Puck pouted, pressing his face between the bars. "It's a pirate's life. I had no idea what day of the week it was, much less the date. C'mon, let me make it up to you?"

"Fine," Kurt sighed, standing up and meeting Puck through the bars. "But for the next two weeks, you're on swab duty, Mr. Puckerman, and you are to call me Captain Hummel at all times."

"At _all_ times?" Puck smirked, raising one eyebrow and nodding. "Whatever you wish, Captain Hummel. Just don't maroon me again, yeah?"

Captain Hummel whispered, "No promises," before kissing his boyfriend through the bars, licking away the taste of thirst and sun.


	6. Drabble 6 Fluffiness and a Dog

"Um, sweetheart?" Kurt said as he entered the kitchen, where Puck was loading the dishwasher for a quick run while he made dinner. "Why is there a dog on our couch?"

Trying not to wince visibly, Puck gathered his strength and said, "Irene found him. I'm just watching him while she makes flyers."

"But there is a _dog_," Kurt repeated, his words clipped as he set his things down on the breakfast bar, "on our _couch_. We sit on that couch. We have sex on that couch. Now all I'm going to be thinking about is whether or not that thing infected our furniture with fleas!"

Puck shook his head. Sometimes Kurt just put the worst images in his brain. "I'll move him to the laundry room," Puck sighed, pouring the soap and turning on the dishwasher. "You get food started?"

"How about," Kurt smiled softly, stepping closer to Puck and giving that flirty smile. Then he whacked Puck on the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"You ask me before bringing a live animal into our house?" Kurt cried. "You know I'm allergic!"

"Sorry, babe," Puck replied, rubbing his arm and pouting. The look he gave worked because Kurt pouted too, tilting his head to the side and sighing before leaning in and kissing Puck.

"It's okay," Kurt replied softly as they parted. "You move the dog into the laundry room and I'll vacuum the couch. Okay?"

Puck fought the urge to roll his eyes and nodded, "Okay." Puck still didn't see what the problem was. It was just one lousy dog, who was kinda cute. Oh, well. Puck had married Kurt, allergies and all.


	7. Drabble 7 College Roommates

"No," Kurt insisted as soon as he stepped into his new dorm room and saw his roommate hanging a poster of a half-naked woman on the wall. "No way. I need a different room."

"Suck it up, Kurt," Noah Puckerman replied as he smoothed out his poster. "It's not like I asked to be here either." 

* * *

><p>"If you wash your clothes, especially your dirty socks," Kurt hissed, arms crossed as he stared Noah down, "I'll help you pass your history midterm."<p>

"And math," Puck insisted, picking up the roll of quarters Kurt had dropped into his lap. At his roommate's nod, Noah smirked and gathered his dirty clothes. 

* * *

><p>"Chicks at this school are too smart," Puck complained as he got back to the room late, smelling like cigarette smoke and cheap beer.<p>

"Is the great and powerful Noah Puckerman going to have to start hitting on townies?" Kurt replied over his psych reading, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

"Whatever, man," Puck sighed, throwing off his high-school letterman jacket and digging around in his closet before returning triumphant with a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt. Kurt scoffed at his roommate's horrible taste in sleepwear and turned out his light. 

* * *

><p>Sometime after winter break, Puck lay awake in his bed, wondering why neither he nor Kurt applied for a new roommate when semesters switched. He guessed things were just easy this way, even though Puck had woken up after a night of heavy drinking to find his mohawk gone and his nails trimmed. Maybe he did look better this way. Maybe smart college chicks would dig this look better.<p>

* * *

><p>"Hey, Kurt?"<p>

As it was the middle of the night, Kurt tried to ignore Puck's plea for attention, even though the guy could always tell when he was awake.

"Kuuurrrt?"

"What?"

"I think I'm still a little drunk."

"No kidding?" Kurt replied, turning over to face the wall.

"Something weird happened at the party," Puck continued. "You shoulda been there, man."

"So I could be jostled around by your jock friends and hit on by drunken co-eds? No thank you," Kurt sighed.

"It wasn't a frat party this time," Puck insisted. "It was this Music School get-together thing. Most people were dressed up, like in costumes and shit. I'm pretty sure I made out with Hamlet."

Kurt laughed, "There was a girl there dressed as Hamlet? How do you even know who that is?"

"Lit class last semester," Puck pointed out. "Remember? You made me watch the movie so I would pass my test."

"Ah, yes," Kurt sighed, wondering why he didn't get out of being his roommate's keeper when he had the chance.

"And it wasn't a _chick _dressed up as Hamlet."

Kurt choked on his own tongue and flipped over to look at Puck in the dark. "What?"

"He just kinda moved in on me, man," Puck explained, like it was no big deal. "And I figured I wasn't getting any from the chicks anyway, so I might as well..."

"You led him on?"

"I figured," Puck explained, "I'd get his number and give it to you, dude. You haven't been living Hummel, you've been hiding. You need to get laid."

Kurt sat up with a huff. "Did it ever occur to you that I may not want to date anyone who thought _you _were attractive? And then there's the fact that you and I have completely different body types. He might be disgusted by the way I look."

"Pfft," Puck scoffed. "You're totally hot. Seriously."

When Puck started snoring before Kurt could come up with a response that made any sort of sense, he decided to ignore Puck's misguided attempt at getting Kurt laid. No, he was no longer a virgin, but he didn't have much experience either. He just wanted to get through college as quickly as possible and move to New York, where all his dreams would come true. 

* * *

><p>"Here," Puck said, shoving a cup at Kurt. "It's good. It's a screwdriver, dude. You can't go wrong with one of them."<p>

"I can't believe I actually agreed to come with you," Kurt sighed, taking a sip of his drink and really hoping he could avoid getting orange-flavored vomit on his outfit. It wasn't a costume, per se, like everyone else was wearing and it wasn't Puck's make-shift toga, but it was Halloween and some friends from his theater class were going to be here.

"Hey," Puck replied, clapping a hand on Kurt's shoulder and taking a log draw of his beer, "you asked me to be roommates again this year. I think you like me more than you let on!"

Kurt scoffed but he couldn't help smiling just a little bit. Despite Puck's brutish manners, Kurt couldn't imagine rooming with anyone else. 

* * *

><p>Later that night, after two more screwdrivers, Kurt stumbled around the party looking for Puck and finding him talking to a pair of girls dressed as Charlie's Angels. He wondered where the third Angel was.<p>

"Wanna go home," he told Puck, carefully not noticing the way Puck's toga was really more of a kilt now.

Puck laughed and put his warm arm around Kurt's shoulders, telling the girls, "Looks like I gotta get the old ball and chain to bed. See you in class."

"I thought you never went to class," Kurt pointed out as they pushed their way toward the cool outside air.

"You know," Puck said, stopping them just outside the party, "you make a lot of assumptions about me, man, but you never, like, open your eyes."

"Oh no," Kurt gasped with fake surprise, "you've gone hippie on me, Puckerman!"

Puck got that look in his eye that he always did before they had a fight that usually ended up with Puck crashing at a friend's place. He turned and grabbed Kurt by the arms, shaking him a little before pulling him close and smashing their lips together.

Kurt squealed against the kiss, but maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was a year's worth of tension draining away, because he let the kiss continue. And continue. And then they were running back toward the dorm, still wrapped up together and stopping to kiss every so often.

Waiting for the elevator, Kurt pressed Puck against a wall and grinded against him as best he could, proud at the way Puck groaned and grabbed Kurt's ass.

Kurt wanted to ask what was going on, but through a haze of alcohol and lust, all he could think was, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." 

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up in a bed that wasn't his, lying next to someone warm, and looking up at his neighbor, Troy. Troy's expression turned from shocked to a knowing, wicked grin before he said, "It's about time, Hummel. Try to keep it down in the future, alright?"<p>

Kurt nodded and watched as Troy left, closing the door behind him. As Kurt turned around, flashes of the night before came back to him and by the time he got around to looking at the boy pressed against him in this narrow bed, he wasn't surprised to see Puck there, sleeping with his mouth open.

Maybe Kurt had been too focused on his studies lately. He'd almost missed what had been here all along.


	8. Drabble 8 Animal crack fic

When Kurt woke up with pointy ears and a tail, both lightly furred in orange-and-black calico, he freaked out. "Dad! Dad!"

"What's wrong?" Burt asked as he burst into the room, knocking the door off its hinges and scratching the paint with his claws.

Wait, claws?

"Dad!" Kurt cried, backing up a little. "You're a bear!"

"I am?" Burt asked, looking down at his paws and turning them over.

"Well, sort of," Kurt replied, taking a better look at his dad. "You've got the bear-paws and ears," he said, carefully walking around Burt, "and your back is seriously furry, from what I can see."

"You're one to talk," Burt pointed out, just as someone came galloping through the hallway.

"Guys!" Finn cried, startling a hiss out of Kurt and almost getting swiped with the pin-sharp claws Kurt apparently had now. "Guys, I have a tail! And ears!"

"What are you?" Kurt asked, eyeing his step-brother's floppy ears and wagging tail. "A golden retriever?"

"You changed, too?" Finn cried, looking both Hummels up and down before running off again, calling, "Mom! Mom, what are you?"

Kurt and Burt looked at each other for half a moment before tearing after him, finding Carole still in bed, her ears rounded and covered in black fur. Her hands looked the same as Kurt's dad's, only black, so Kurt concluded, "Carole! You're a bear too!"

"I'm what?" she groaned, blinking in the morning light. "Guys, I got home late from my shift, could you just … keep it down? I feel like I could sleep for three months."

Kurt snickered behind his hand, thinking it was pretty romantic the way his dad and Carole matched in whatever crazy change that had happened overnight. He wondered if it was just his family who'd changed or if it was everyone, so he cried, "I gotta call Mercedes," and ran back toward his room.

His phone was ringing before he could pick it up, so as soon as he connected Mercedes' call, he asked, "Did it happen to you, too?"

"Baby boy!" Mercedes cried, almost deafening Kurt. Geez, he would have to get used to having better hearing. "I'm, like, a tiger-woman or something!"

"Are you sure you're not a house-cat," Kurt asked, "like me? Oh, and Finn's a golden retriever."

"Nah," she insisted. "I'm full on orange-and-black stripes, Kurt. And I'm pretty sure my dad's a gorilla."

"It's happening everywhere, then," Kurt mused. "Call everyone. Get them to meet outside McKinley. I'll bring Finn."

"You got it."

Everyone had changed. Tina and Mike were both some sort of gazelle, with tiny spiral horns on their heads and ears that would flick when you touched them. Rachel was a bird and the coloring reminded Kurt of a chickadee – a tiny little bird singing the same song over and over. Sam was a yellow lab to Finn's retriever and Santana was some sort of bitch – literally. Lauren had a big tail covered in green crocodile scales that looked more deadly than the sharp teeth in her mouth. Artie reminded Kurt of an owl. Quinn had big, white wings and white feathers mixed in with her blonde hair, so everyone decided she was a swan. And Brittany had to be a dolphin, with that fin on her back and her smooth, gray skin that she kept slathering with moisturizer.

People other than the glee club started showing up. Jacob was some sort of lizard. Azimio was even more hunched into himself than normal and appeared to have armadillo armor-plates all down his back and whip-thin tail. Karofsky had big ram's horns growing out of his head. Brett's hands resembled those of a three-toed sloth. Anthony Rashad was a lion.

"Has anyone seen Puck?" Finn asked, looking around the growing group of people (which also included sugar-glider Ms. Pillsbury and longhorn Coach Beiste). "Do you think he's okay?" Finn asked, his ears close to his head and his tail between his legs. "What if he turned into a shark and drowned on dry land?"

"I'll take you over there," Kurt offered, waving goodbye to his friends who were also dispersing now that school had been canceled on account of Principal Figgins' inability to run the school with cloven hooves for hands. Kurt had to be careful how he sat down in his car now that he had a tail, but at least his was flexible, unlike Finn's, which had Finn sitting on one cheek for the whole ride so he wouldn't break anything.

At Puck's house, Kurt rang the doorbell while Finn knocked on the door. When no one answered, Finn tried the door and found it unlocked, letting himself in and waving Kurt to follow him. Taking a deep breath, Finn said, "I think he's still here. Upstairs, I guess. He smells …" Finn twitched and sort of turned back toward the door before changing his mind again. "Maybe you should go up there."

Kurt didn't know if Finn though Puck was dangerous or what, since he couldn't smell anything new, but he wasn't about to back down and leave a fellow glee club member confused and alone, so he made his way up the stairs, calling, "Puck? Puck, it's me, Kurt. Finn's here, too. Listen, we look a little different, so don't freak out, okay?"

"What?" Puck's voice called roughly. "It's not just my family?"

Kurt followed the sound of Puck's voice into what was obviously his bedroom and found a lump hiding under the covers. "Where is your family?" Kurt asked gently, crouching down next to the bed and trying to keep his tail still so it wouldn't knock anything over.

"Sarah grew fur all over and this really long monkey-tail and my mom has scales," Puck mumbled. "I told them I was fine."

"But you're not, are you?" Kurt said gently. "C'mon. I won't laugh. Let me see."

Puck sighed and threw back the covers, hissing with sharp teeth when his gray tabby-colored tail got caught up in them. His ears were pointy, just like Kurt's, and the claws of one hand were buried into his mattress, like he was holding on for dear life. Looking up at Kurt, Puck realized, "Hey, you're just like me."

"I'd like to think I wear the ears better," Kurt preened with a smile, "but yes, we both appear to be cats. Finn, Sam and Santana are all dogs, Quinn's a swan, Britt's a dolphin – everyone's changed. It's not just you."

Puck nodded, working his claws out of the mattress by retracting them and then reaching forward to touch one of Kurt's ears. He'd gotten used to it with the others – everyone had been pawing everyone else to make sure it was real – so Kurt let Puck finger his ear before scratching the base. Kurt groaned a little bit at the warm, heavy feeling, closing his eyes and leaning toward Puck's touch. Puck chuckled softly and said, "You know, you're kinda cute like this."

Kurt opened his eyes and put up one of his hands, saying, "Be careful, Puckerman, 'cause this kitty has claws."

Puck smirked, his sharp eyeteeth just barely showing. "That could be interesting."


	9. Drabble 9 Love M rated

As they fell into bed, side-by-side and plastered together, Puck knew this was a breaking point. This wasn't a circle jerk like when he and Finn had scored that porn and brought it to Richardson's house during freshman year. This wasn't like trading hand jobs with that guy in the bathroom at Regionals. This wasn't getting blown by that closet case, Karofsky.

This was Kurt. This was too-good-for-you, high-voice, tight-assed Kurt Hummel, who threw his whole heart into loving someone. This was slow, open-mouthed kisses and deft fingers trailing down Puck's spine. This was soft words and laughter, encouraging Puck to touch, "Oh, right there. Love that, Noah. Love you."

"Really?" Puck asked as Kurt pushed Puck's jeans away, carefully pulling them past his feet before hooking urgent fingers into the elastic of his boxers.

"Yes," Kurt breathed and Puck wondered what his life would have been like if he hadn't decided when he was twelve that a pair of tits and a wet pussy were the be all and end all of love. No female sex-partner had ever said she loved Puck before. "Please, touch me."

Puck couldn't get enough of Kurt's skin, breathing it in as they rocked together, chest to chest and legs intertwined, Puck's hands everywhere on Kurt's back and ass. Kurt put something slick between them and although it was just Kurt's fist and the press of his cock, Puck decided it felt better than any hole he'd ever fucked.

"Baby," Puck groaned, squeezing Kurt close and kissing his jaw hungrily. "God, Kurt, please!"

"Do you love me?" Kurt asked softly and Puck laughed, because this was a hell of a time to ask for a straight answer. "Noah, please. Say that-"

"I love you, Kurt," Puck whispered, holding Kurt tightly as the guy shuddered and came undone, flooding the space between them. His fist clenched and Puck was right behind, holding tightly onto the warm body in his arms, kissing one delicately-muscled shoulder as the world shifted around them.


	10. Drabble 10 Trust verse Parents

"Well," Carole said, her shoulders sort of deflated as she took in the news. "Well..."

Beside her, Burt had his baseball cap in his hands, strangling it with a strong grip. "You've been hiding this," he muttered, "for seven years?"

"Since Junior Prom," Kurt nodded, reaching over and taking Finn's hand. "We're sorry we kept it from you."

"You're married to three men?" Burt asked, still looking sort of shell shocked.

"Yes," Kurt squeaked, hating how high his voice still got when he was nervous.

Carole met Noah's eyes - he was sitting next to Finn, while Dave had chickened out - and asked him, "So you don't know who got you pregnant?"

"Doesn't matter," Noah shrugged, snuggling further into Finn's arm. "Just like it didn't matter with Ariel."

Carole brought a hand to her mouth and her eyes went watery. "She's not my grandbaby."

Finn jumped up from the couch and pulled his mother into a tight hug, "Of course she is! Even if I'm not her bio-dad, I'm still her Daddy Finn. Would you love her any less if Noah and I had adopted her?"

As Carole though about this and wetly answered, "No," Puck leaned in and whispered to Kurt, "This is going better than I thought."

Kurt was about to agree when suddenly Burt stood up and yelled, "You've been sleeping with your step-brother for seven years!"

Clinging to Noah for safety - because Burt would never hit a pregnant person - Kurt whispered, "I think maybe you need to take that back."

"Yeah," Puck chuckled, putting himself in front of Kurt, "maybe."


	11. Drabble 11 Regionals

"Puckerman," Kurt sighed, wincing as a bite on his neck turned a little painful, "we shouldn't be doing this anymore. I'm with Blaine now."

"You know I don't care," Puck replied, pushing Kurt even closer to the backstage wall and kissing him again. "And you don't tell me to stop either, do you? You get off on sneaking around, Babe."

Kurt moaned at the delicious feel of Puck's body pressing him to the wall, holding him there and grinding their pelvises together. This thing they had was just physical, something to tide them over until they both found a real connection with someone else. But Blaine never touched Kurt like this. He didn't even try.

"And Lauren?"

"Won't put out," Puck scoffed. Not that Kurt ever put out, not really. He got Puck off by grinding and sometimes a hand job. They'd never had sex.

"Fuck, Baby," Puck groaned, sucking the other side of Kurt's neck and thrusting hard against him. "Let me hear that voice of yours."

"So good, Noah," Kurt whined. "Oh, please. Just a little... Ah!"

Puck hissed in pleasure, too, holding Kurt tightly for a few moments before letting him go and smirking, "Hope I didn't make you ruin that uniform, Kurt. Have fun with your lame boyfriend."

Kurt nodded and returned to the Warblers' green room just before the announcement came that judging for the Regional competition was complete.

"Hey," Blaine smiled, taking Kurt's hand chastely. "There you are!"

"Hey," Kurt smiled, trying not to feel so guilty and telling himself things with Puck would never ever happen again.


	12. Drabble 12 Dragon AU

_Goes with my (one and only) Klaine fic: Claim_

Nothing, absolutely nothing felt like swooping through the air, wind in the wings, and free. Puck wouldn't trade the world for this feeling and wanted to share it with someone. He wanted a mate, a rider, but he couldn't seem to hold onto one for longer than a few weeks. Puck's first rider, Santana, had asked to be let out of her claim and didn't that just fucking sting?

Quinn refused to let him mark her the night they'd spent together because she was the Princess and couldn't be a rider. Puck didn't know what he was thinking, just glad that their issue from that night had been a non-shifter and had easily found a home away from Quinn's duties of state.

Lauren, his current rider, had been his for a while. She was badass and strong and they worked well together on missions, like breaking into Count Figgins' records room for information. The problem was, Puck and Lauren didn't love each other - not the way Rachel loved Finn or Mike loved Tina. Not the way Blaine loved Kurt.

Kurt.

Puck should have scooped that boy up right out of training. Well, he sort of had, drawing Kurt away from the others one day. Puck kissed the rider, getting a good sense of his taste as Kurt moaned and sucked on Puck's forked tongue. But then Puck got scared. He got scared of what his buddies would think of him claiming a male rider, he got scared of trying to claim Kurt without really knowing how the sex would work. He got scared that if he marked his claim that would be it. He'd never sleep with anyone else ever again.

Watching Kurt and Blaine horse around in the training yard as Puck came in for a landing and, shifting back into his human-like form, let Lauren take care of him, Puck decided he was wrong. He'd give up both his wings to have Kurt look at him like that again.

_I'm thinking both this and "Claim" will go into a longer AU eventually…_


	13. Drabble 13 Fighter Planes AU

_Slight disclaimer: the facts here are poorly (not at all) researched and probably wrong._

"Doin' good back there, Puckerman?" Kurt asked his gunner as he straightened out of a dive and began to climb again.

"Bring it!" Puck shouted over his shoulder, even though he was supposed to be wearing his mask and using the com.

Shrugging, Kurt eyed up the battle and cried, "Rolling Stone, Puck! In three...two...one!" Kurt dropped down between enemy fighters and came along side them, rolling as Puck howled and held down the triggers, tearing the other planes to shreds.

Once they were through and Kurt steadied out, he called, "Damage report?"

"Still flying true, Hummel," Puck replied back with a laugh before yelling, "Uh! Take it! Missile away!"

Another enemy fighter fell out of the sky behind them and Kurt climbed again, turning to survey the battle before rolling into an evasive dive. He doubted he would ever tell his partner how much he loved hearing Puck scream, "Whoooo-hoooooo!" as they owned the sky.


	14. Drabble 14 He says

_More of a poem than a drabble..._

He says, "Babe, I need it, need it."  
>I say, "Love, I know you do."<p>

He says, "Babe, it hurts, it hurts."  
>I say, "Love, I'll help you through."<p>

He says, "God, I never knew."  
>I say, "Yeah, I love it, too."<p>

He says, "Just some more, please more."  
>I say, "Breathe, you're turning blue."<p>

He says, "Babe, I'm there, I'm there!"  
>I say, "Noah, I love you."<p>

He smirks, "That ain't no surprise."  
>I say, "Gee, <em>there's <em>nothing new."

He says, "Babe, we just had _sex_."  
>I grin, "Yes, yes we did."<p>

_Thanks for all the reviews, especially those of you who have been reviewing every day. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!_


	15. Drabble 15 Breaking the First Rule

"Dude, Hummel, wait up!"

"What is it, Puck?" Kurt replied with a sigh, stopping in his tracks and pulling a compact mirror from his bag to reapply a light layer of concealer.

"I totes saw you last night!"

Rolling his eyes at the boy's atrocious word choice, Kurt finished his touch-up and gave Puck a harsh look, "No you didn't."

"C'mon, I did," Puck argued, much to Kurt's dismay. He really wasn't the brightest bulb on the string, was he?

"And what's the first rule?" Kurt asked, a leading question that he hoped Puck would pick up on.

"I know, I know," Puck replied, to Kurt's relief. "Don't talk about it. But, dude, where do you learn that shit?"

Puck looked very impressed and Kurt couldn't help but preen a bit, turning his nose up and continuing his walk to class. A look back assured him that Puck was following and he replied, "Self-defense classes, the Cheerios, and a secret appreciation for Bruce Lee movies."

"No shit?" Puck asked, grabbing Kurt's arm and then wincing and pulling his hand away at the look he received. "I mean damn, dude, I never would have guessed."

"Are we done now?"

"But you're so badass! Why wouldn't you just fight back when the jocks give you crap?" Puck looked genuinely confused, which was kind of adorable on him.

"And get suspended for ruining the team's chances at playoffs?" Kurt scoffed. "Not really included in my 'get out of this cow-town plan' is it?"

"Dude, you could injure the whole football team?"

"I've never tried," Kurt smirked, stopping at his classroom. "But after taking down that behemoth Krause at Club..."

Puck nodded, his mouth sort of open until he licked his lips and closed it. "I-I'll see you around, Hummel," he stuttered, looking back a few times as he walked away.

Kurt wasn't sure whether Puck was scared of him now or had a crush, but either way, he felt very pleased with himself as he sat down in history class and pulled a sparkly blue pen from his bag, ready to take notes. School would help him get out of here, just like fight club was keeping him sane in the mean time. Kurt wondered if Puck would show up next Tuesday, because he had a feeling kicking the jock's ass would be highly satisfying, perhaps for both of them if Santana's stories were to be believed. He just had to make sure to avoid damaging that pretty face.

_Once again, thanks for all the reviews!_


	16. Drabble 15 Trust verse Crawling

_Totally inspired by a story my husband told me_

It started out slowly. Kurt had been taking care of the baby while Puck was at class and Finn and Dave were playing in an intramural football game. Usually Kurt went along to cheer them on, but Ariel was getting over a cold, so Kurt didn't want to expose the eight-month-old to the elements.

He'd put her on the floor for some belly time and was answering an email when a phone rang somewhere in the apartment. He dropped his iPhone and went searching for whoever's phone had been left here at home. It was Finn's, go figure.

"Hello?" he answered as he rushed back into the living room to make sure Ariel hadn't rolled off her blanket or anything, "Oh, hi, Dad... No, you dialed right. Finn forgot his phone here and-"

Ariel was about five feet from where he'd left her, drooling on his iPhone as she stared at the tiny lettering of his inbox. "No, no, everything's okay. I think the baby just crawled, though." Kurt picked Ariel up in one arm, stuck Finn's phone between his ear and shoulder and picked up his own phone with the other hand, grimacing as he wiped the baby drool on Ariel's romper. What? It wasn't like it didn't already have baby drool all over it.

"No, she hasn't crawled before, Dad," Kurt answered. "Can I take a message or... The game started an hour ago...We're on the same time zone! ... Yeah, that's what I thought. I gotta go. I'll give Finn your good luck wishes when he gets home. ... Bye!"

Looking at his daughter, Kurt asked, "Did you really just crawl, Baby?"

Ariel smiled.

Kurt decided to try an experiment. He put Ariel down on her blanket, took a few steps away, and turned his phone to one of the songs she liked, setting it on the floor at his feet. Ariel looked intrigued and she had a few false starts but eventually she crawled all the way to him.

"Ah!" Kurt cried in delight, lifting the baby up quickly so she giggled. "You are truly a twenty-first century baby, aren't you?" Ariel sneezed all over his face.

By the time one of his husbands got home, Kurt had a string tied around his phone and was dragging it across the carpet for Ariel to follow. It didn't strike him as odd until Puck walked in the door and cried, "Seriously, Kurt? My baby is not- hey, is she crawling?"

"Yep!" Kurt replied proudly. "But I can only get her to do it for my phone."

Noah grinned and took the string from Kurt's hand, insisting, "I gotta try this..."

By the next morning, Kurt's phone had several new scratches and all four of Ariel's parents had gotten her to crawl using a piece of technology as bait. "Do you think this makes us bad parents?" Finn asked, that concerned squint all over his face.

"No," Kurt replied, handing the baby to Dave when he held out his arms for her. "It just means we got our daughter to crawl before any of the other parents in our baby group!"

"Score!"


	17. Drabble 17 Banned for Life

_I'm so sorry for missing a few days. I shall catch up if not right now, then definitely by tomorrow. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p>Kurt figured that going out to dinner with his husband's friends would be a chore, but maybe he would get some good food out of it. After all, he'd been telling Noah every now and then for months how much he wanted to eat at the restaurant James had chosen. What could be the harm?<p>

When Noah turned off the interstate two stops early, Kurt asked, "Honey, what are you doing?"

"Short cut," Noah replied with a grin, taking Kurt into a part of the city he'd never been to before.

Kurt bit his tongue and refused to point out that they were going absolutely the wrong way. They were Noah's friends. If they had to wait for the Hummel-Puckermans to arrive, at least it was Noah's fault for taking them in the absolute wrong direction.

And then Noah pulled into the parking lot of a Hooters. Scrambling for an explanation, Kurt said, "I know you're lost, dear, but do we have to stop here for directions? I could tell you how-"

"So, yeeaaah," Noah drawled out, "this is where we're eating."

"What?"

"I figured the only way to get you here was-"

"To lie your ass off?" Kurt huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You promised me French food."

"And I got us a reservation at that place for tomorrow night, like legit," Noah insisted, trying to pry one of Kurt's hands away from his arms so he could hold it. Kurt wasn't cooperating. "C'mon, babe, the guys are dying to meet you!"

"But not so much that they would agree to eat at a reputable location?" Kurt guessed.

After a silent moment, Noah offered, "I'll buy you one of those fruity drinks you like."

"Have any of your friends brought their spouses?" Kurt shot back. "Though I doubt I'd enjoy chatting with the kind of lady who would agree to dine here."

Noah was still floundering pathetically when Kurt took pity on him and agreed to, "One drink and only one drink. Got it?"

"Thanks, babe!" Noah grinned, hopping out of the car and escorting Kurt into the restaurant like he would change his mind at the last second.

Kurt went in. He met Noah's work friends, who were nice enough and didn't seem to have a problem with Kurt's lack of breasts, maybe because there were so many around to distract them. Unfortunately, after agreeing to a second Long Island and then a third, Kurt became way too curious about whether their waitress' endowments were real or not.

"Thanks a lot, babe," Noah sighed as they were pushed out onto the curb. "I think you're the only gay guy ever to get banned from Hooter's for life."

Grinning, Kurt looked at his husband and said, very calmly and soberly, "Mission accomplished. Now, take me somewhere with real food."

It took Noah at least two minutes of open-mouthed surprise before he got into the car, shaking his head. "Only you, Kurt. Only you."

"You'd better believe it, buddy," Kurt smiled, hiccuping once before Noah pulled out of the parking space and drove off.


	18. Drabble 18 Serial Killer Kurt

Kurt didn't want to be this way. He didn't want to have this need, this immoral, illegal need inside him that kept begging to get out. He tried everything he could think of as a teenager to get rid of it, to be normal like his friends.

The need never went away.

The first time, he didn't plan on any of his friends finding out. He'd thought maybe if he planned for everything he could get away with it, go back to being the Kurt Hummel everyone knew for another six months, another year, until the need crept up again. He didn't count on Noah Puckerman.

Kurt didn't count on being caught, least of all by the glee club member who had the fewest reasons to protect him. But then Noah's hazel eyes went dark and he whispered, "God, that's beautiful," his eyes trained on the growing pool of blood below Azimio's lifeless body.

Kurt pulled his knife out of Azimio's sternum with a grunt and asked, "Really?"

Nodding, Puck approached Kurt slowly, bringing up a hand to brush Kurt's cheek and coming away with a bright red smear on his fingers. Then, Puck pulled Kurt close and kissed him harshly and Kurt knew he'd finally found someone just like him - someone with the same dark need.

_Big shout out to fearfullt's serial killer fics, which I highly recommend._


	19. Drabble 19 Prom Night M rated

_Takes place in the same verse as Drabble #11_

Prom night, Lima, 2011

Kurt stood up to his bullies by taking the crown they'd given him and wearing it with pride. Blaine asked him to dance and everything seemed perfect. They'd even gotten a hotel room in the same block as Kurt's friends. But when the party ended and couples dashed into their rooms for a little alone time, all Blaine seemed to want to do was talk about Kurt's feelings. After Kurt's third attempt to make out with his boyfriend only to have Blaine break away and ask, "But are you sure you're okay? That was an awful prank they pulled on y-"

"I need some air," Kurt decided, disappointed when he caught his reflection on the way out of the room and noticed his hair was still perfect and not at all messed up.

The hallway was quiet and Kurt checked his watch. Four in the morning. Nothing good ever happened at four in the morning. Sighing, Kurt trudged through the hallway toward the vending machines, rattling the change in his pocket and hoping the pop machine carried something diet and without caffeine.

Instead he found Noah Puckerman.

Trying not to let his heart beat too loudly in remembrance of other instances where he'd been alone with the boy, Kurt watched Noah stare at the snack machine like he was trying to make a decision.

"It's not going to decide for you," Kurt finally said, smiling when Puck started and then smirked when he saw Kurt.

"Just killing time, really," Puck replied, playing with the change in his hand. "What are you doing out of bed? Thought you'd be screwing that boyfriend of yours into the mattress by now."

Kurt ducked his head in shame and sudden arousal. "All he wants to do is talk."

"On prom night?" Puck scoffed. "Dude, I feel you. Lauren's like, over-the-clothes only. It fuckin' sucks."

"Sorry," Kurt mumbled, trying to ignore the way Puck was inching closer to him.

"I don't get it, either," Puck insisted, now almost pressed side-to-side with Kurt. "It's not like she's a virgin. She and her old boyfriend fucked, like, all the time. She told me."

"Maybe she was lying," Kurt pointed out, trying not to smile as Puck let him lace their hands together.

"Does Dapper McGee know you're not exactly virginal?" Puck murmured in Kurt's ear before nibbling at the lobe, sending shivers and sparks of arousal down Kurt's spine.

Gasping a little, Kurt leaned into Puck's attentive mouth, pointing out, "Telling him that would mean letting him know I've been cheating on him."

"Maybe if he knew," Puck sighed, turning to press Kurt against the wall with his chest, "he'd actually touch you once in a while."

"Mmm," Kurt agreed, pulling Puck in for a deep, dirty kiss. "I wonder what he'd do if he found out-ah!"

"You want him to catch us?" Puck murmured, chuckling a little as he lifted Kurt's kilt and ran his hands up both thighs. "You want him to watch as I take that last little scrap of your virginity?"

Kurt moaned and nodded, lifting up one if his legs to pull Puck closer. "I wanted to have sex tonight, damn it," Kurt breathed into Noah's hot mouth. "You gonna help me out?"

"Fuck, yeah, baby," Puck grinned, rolling his hips and biting Kurt's lower lip. "Gonna make you feel so good."

Kurt reached into his kilt pocket and pulled out two packets as Puck pulled Kurt's underwear down and got started on his own belt. "You won't hurt me," Kurt insisted, more of an order than a request as he handed the packets to Puck.

Grinning again and palming Kurt's so-hard-it-ached cock, he replied, "Not unless you want me to," and broke open the packet of lube.

It was quick and dirty and Kurt wished he didn't like it so much, coming into Puck's hand with a low groan, the pressure of Puck's cock inside him almost unbearable but so good. As they parted and Kurt pulled up his underwear, he wondered out loud, "How long are we going to keep doing this?"

"That's up to you, babe," Puck replied, pulling Kurt in for a long, slow kiss. Kurt wondered how long it would be before he found himself breaking up with Blaine, sick of all the lies.

It wasn't quite yet, despite the way Puck held his hand and walked him back to his hotel room door. Not _quite_ yet.

_If anyone has ideas for the last few drabbles, I'd love to hear them. I'm quickly running out of ones I've already written..._


	20. Drabble 20 Love Potion

_This drabble was prompted by faithful reviewer and awesomest reader ever, JasonDragon64!  
><em>

One evening, when Puck saw the smoothie in Finn's fridge marked, "Property of Kurt Hummel. Do Not Touch!" he couldn't help but pull it down from the top shelf and open the cap. Giving the drink a sniff, Puck decided it didn't smell half-bad, so he took a sip, smacking his lips at the fruity, sweet and rich taste. Then he took another sip. And another.

Before he knew it, Puck had drunk the entire smoothie, right down to the last few drops that stubbornly clung to the lip of the bottle. Oh well, he thought, tossing the empty bottle into the sink for someone else to wash it. It wasn't like Kurt was going to miss it. There were three more just like it on the shelf behind the milk.

Grabbing the soda he'd come into the kitchen for, Puck turned to leave and ran right into Kurt, practically knocking the guy over. "Oh, h-" Puck found his words cut off as a strange sensation washed over him, rocking his balance and making him dizzy. He looked up to see if Kurt was feeling odd too and wondered why he'd never noticed how absolutely fuckable the guy was before.

"Puck?" Kurt asked, his voice like angels' wings fluttering in Puck's ears. "Are you okay?" The boy's cheeks flushed a little and Puck just had to kiss that blush away, so he grabbed the sides of Kurt's head and pulled him into the best kiss ever.

"God, Kurt," Puck sighed as the kiss broke. "I need to have you. Please? Please can I be with you?"

Kurt didn't seem so sure, so Puck decided he needed a little more convincing and went for another kiss, pressing Kurt up against the counter and attacking his lips. Puck almost died when Kurt pushed him away and said, "What do you think you're doing, Puck?"

"Not ready for that yet?" Puck asked, taking Kurt's amazingly soft hand in his. "Then let me just hold you and be near you, Babe. I-I think I _love _you."

Kurt seemed surprised, which Puck thought was weird, given how strong his feelings were for the gay boy. "You have to see how much I want this."

"I just don't know why," Kurt replied, looking over Puck's shoulders with wide eyes and cruelly snatching his hand away from Puck's. "This isn't what it looks like, Blaine. I don't think he knows what he's doing!"

Puck couldn't give a damn about Blaine or whoever the fuck else was in the room. He only had eyes for Kurt and Kurt's luscious looking neck. "God, you must taste fantastic," he murmured, pressing close to Kurt's tight body again and laving at that delicious skin with his tongue.

"Get him off me!" someone said, but it couldn't have been Kurt. Puck and Kurt loved each other, right?

But then Kurt was pushing him away and someone else was pulling and Puck couldn't risk hurting the dude he loved by fighting back. "No!" he complained, reaching for Kurt. "Please?"

"Oh-oh," Blaine said, letting go of Puck so he could get back to kissing his boy like he needed to. "Puck?" There was some rattling in the sink, "Did you drink this smoothie I made for Kurt?"

"What's mine is his and what's his is mine," Puck replied, voice probably muffled by the creamy skin behind Kurt's ear, not that Puck cared.

"What was in that smoothie, Blaine?" Kurt asked, still trying to push Puck away, but Puck could tell he didn't really mean it and pressed his hard-on against Kurt's perfect hip. "This is getting out of hand."

There wasn't much talking for a moment, which Puck used to his advantage, running his hands down Kurt's body and making him shiver in delight. "Blaine?"

"It was a love potion, alright?" Blaine admitted, making Puck laugh into Kurt's hair. There was no such thing as love potions. Every ounce of affection he had for Kurt was a hundred percent real, thank you very much.

"Why would you want to give me a love potion, Blaine?" Kurt asked, slapping Puck's hands away from the waistband of his sinfully tight jeans. "I already love you and for God's sake, Puckerman! Get a grip!"

Puck smirked and cupped Kurt's junk through his pants, holding the boy up when he gurgled and got weak at the knees. "Not what I meant…"

"What _did_ you mean?" Puck whispered playfully into Kurt's ear, nipping at the lobe and deciding he'd never tasted anything quite that good.

"Puck, honey? Could you do something for me?" Kurt asked, and when Kurt asked for anything, Puck was more than willing to listen. He backed off and nodded, listening carefully when Kurt said, "Go sit in that chair and keep your hands to yourself until I tell you otherwise, alright, Pumpkin?"

"Sure!" Puck agreed, wondering why Kurt would even think Puck would ignore his request. Besides, Kurt probably just wanted to change into something "a little more comfortable" before they really got going.

When Puck was seated, Kurt sighed and looked at that stupid Blaine kid again, "Tell me why you did this."

"I thought maybe you needed some help," Blaine admitted, scratching the back of his neck with one hand. Oh, he was in trouble… "You know, letting loose a little. Moving our relationship to the next … level?"

Kurt stared at the dude for a few seconds before crossing his arms over his chest and saying, "Why not just slip me a roofie while you were at it? I can't believe you would do that to me!" He pointed to Puck which Puck hoped would mean he could get out of his chair and start ravishing his boy again, but sadly it didn't. "It's completely unethical and makes me think you don't actually love me."

"I do love you, Kurt," Blaine insisted, which made Puck sick to his stomach.

"I'm the only one who loves him!" he insisted, failing to get either boy's attention further than a quick glance. "I love you, Baby!"

Blaine looked down at his feet and sighed, "I guess I figured you wouldn't mind. It wears off pretty quickly and I wasn't going to let you get further than we already have before it did."

"You think you have the self control to hold me back if I was acting like that?" Kurt asked, pointing at Puck again – it still didn't mean Puck could leave his chair. Fuck.

"Yes, of course!" Blaine replied, stepping closer to Kurt which made Puck want to growl in anger. He tried to kiss Kurt then, which Kurt dodged, but Puck couldn't stay in his chair any longer.

Shaking his head and getting to his feet, Puck put himself between Blaine and Kurt, saying, "Fuck off, dude. Kurt doesn't want to kiss you anymore. Leave him alone!"

"Look, Puck," Blaine replied, hands up in front of him like Puck might punch him. Who knows, maybe he would. "This isn't your business. That potion is going to wear off any second and you'll see that this is a discussion Kurt and I have to have."

"No it isn't," Kurt replied from over Puck's shoulder. "I want you to leave, Blaine. I'll call you tomorrow about exchanging back all our stuff."

Blaine's mouth fell open but he must have seen how much Puck and Kurt loved each other because he stomped away, slamming the front door on the way out of the house.

With that taken care of, Puck turned back to his soon-to-be love muffin and said, "Thank god he's gone, hey, Babe?"

"Puck," Kurt said in sort of an exasperated tone of voice. "I can't-"

Puck cut off whatever stupid thing Kurt was going to say with a kiss, wrapping his arms around Kurt's surprisingly toned back and pressing their lips together gently. "What were you going to say, Sugar?"

"That potion you drank is going to wear off soon and you're going to get mad at me for not-"

"Wore off already," Puck insisted, kissing down Kurt's jaw.

Kurt squeaked and tried to push Puck away again, before melting a little when Puck tongued his pulse-point. "What? When?"

"When I got out of the chair," Puck replied with a grin, meeting Kurt's eyes again. "But now I'm all turned on and you're here, blushing like crazy and tasting delicious. Why don't we see where it goes?"

"Because I just broke up with my boyfriend and you're not gay," Kurt replied, dodging Puck's attempt to kiss his lips. "And how do I know you're not lying about that potion wearing off?"

"Fine," Puck replied in disappointment, backing off. "Will you believe me when I come back tomorrow?"

Kurt's eyes went wide and he nodded silently, watching Puck walk away. Damn, he hoped his house was empty when he got home, because he had some major fappage to take care of. He got as far as opening the door to his truck before Kurt caught up to him. "You're not a good enough liar to be all the way out here if you were still … _affected_," he pointed out, taking Puck's hand. Fuckin' sweet!

"I'm really not," Puck replied with a grin. "Wanna make out in the back seat?"

"How about my room?" Kurt suggested, pulling Puck away from his truck. "If you want?"

Thinking he probably wasn't going to get lucky, but he might get close, Puck slammed his truck door closed and grinned, following Kurt into the house and groping that fine ass as often as he could get away with.

**88**

When Finn went looking for Puck and all he found was a sock hanging on Kurt's door, he shrugged, figuring Puck had gotten a booty call or something and hadn't bothered to tell Finn he was leaving. But man, Kurt and Blaine sure were making a lot of noise tonight. He hoped they'd be done before Burt and Carole got home from the Reds game, because otherwise that might be awkward all around. And, ooh, was that a smoothie in the fridge? Score!

_I hope you liked it. Feel free to leave reviews and any ideas for other drabbles I could write to finish off the month. Thanks for reading!_


	21. Drabble 21 Body Swap M rated

_This is for Kyra5972, who suggested a body-swap drabble. I hope you like it!_

"Quick!" Puck said, looking up those strange two inches into his own face. "We don't know how long this is going to last before we switch back!"

"It could be forever, Noah," Kurt said, using Puck's voice. "It seems there are more pressing matters at hand than having sex."

"Are you kidding?" Puck asked in reply, struggling to get Kurt's tie from around his neck. "This is the perfect time to do it! I wanna feel it the way you do. Trust me, it's gonna be awesome."

Kurt pursed his lips, which was a weird expression on Puck's face and pouted, "I don't like it that way. We tried several times, remember?"

"My body likes it, babe," Puck insisted, finally getting Kurt's tie off and starting on the rest of Kurt's clothes. "Just get naked already!"

"This is so fucked up," Kurt sighed, pulling Puck's t-shirt over his head and throwing it on the ground - a very un-Kurt like gesture. "You do realize this is going to be somewhat like having sex with yourself?"

"I know!" Puck grinned, pushing at Kurt in his body so he would sit down on the bed. "It's gonna be awesome!"

"Fine!" Kurt huffed. "Let's fulfill all your narcissistic fantasies, shall we?"

"Okay!" Puck agreed, getting them naked and reaching for the lube. Usually Kurt did this to him, so it was a little weird doing it to his own body, but the expressions Kurt made with his face were worth it. "Like that, babe?"

Kurt sort of gargled with Puck's voice and admitted huskily, "This feels completely different in your body, Puck. Oh, fuck, do that again!"

Puck twisted his (Kurt's) fingers back and lapped at the underside of his cock, knowing how good the two sensations felt together. Kurt whined and gurgled once more.

"Oh, god, oh, god!" Kurt cried, pulling at Puck's (Kurt's) shoulder. "Fuck me, honey. Oh, please?"

Puck grinned and did as he was asked, kissing his own lips as he slid home. "Fuck, this feels good," he admitted, sucking on Kurt's (his) neck. It was strange, sort of making love to himself, but knowing it was Kurt in there, finally enjoying being fucked the way Puck enjoyed it, was totally worth any of the weird. Plus, Puck was totally hot, so it was no big sacrifice fucking that body, by any means.

"Yes!" Kurt cried, making an o-face that Puck was pretty sure he'd never made before and pulling Puck as close as he could get while warm come flooded the space between them. The shudders that pulled at his (Kurt's) cock were nothing like he'd ever experienced doing this the other way around and after a few seconds, he was coming with Kurt's name on his lips.

When Puck woke up from his post-orgasm nap, he found himself looking into Kurt's face with Kurt's body draped over him. Man, he had wanted to try that at least one more time before they switched back. Oh well, he knew where to get the spell that had switched them in the first place - a fact Kurt never had to know.

_Any other suggestions would be most welcome, as well as straight-up reviews or other comments. Thanks!_


	22. Drabble 22 Who Kurt Doesn't Love

_This is the resolution to drabbles 11 and 21..._

Kurt had been working on how he was going to break up with Blaine for a long time, but he didn't quite know the when. That is until Blaine told Kurt he loved him and Kurt couldn't say it back. If he really loved Blaine, the wonderful boy sitting across from him in the Lima Bean, why would Kurt cheat on him? Why would Kurt give his virginity to someone else on prom night? Why would he get off so hard during a little over-the-clothes dry humping in his New York hotel room, while everyone else was asleep?

Why, when he pictured his boyfriend in his mind, was Blaine's face slowly being replaced with another?

"It's okay if you're not ready to say it back," Blaine told Kurt gently, giving him a lazy smile and reaching forward to put his hand over Kurt's.

"This isn't fair to you," Kurt replied, frowning at his bitter coffee and cutting Blaine off before he could say anything else. "I like you, Blaine, but I ... I don't love you. I doubt I ever will. We should break up."

Blaine's face fell and he started to nod before he stopped himself and pointed out, "These things take time, Kurt. Maybe you just-"

"Maybe it's taking too much time," Kurt sighed. "We've been together for three months, Blaine, and nothing. Nothing more than sweet kisses and hand-holding. Prom was a disaster and not because I got elected queen, but because you made me feel undesirable at the hotel. I can't take it any more."

"I can try more, Kurt," Blaine insisted. "We were going slow because I thought that's what you wanted!"

"So you slapping my hands away was your way of, what, protecting me?" Kurt scoffed. "Listen, I know you're a good guy. I just don't think you're all that attracted to me. We're breaking up and that's that."

"Kurt..."

Kurt shook his head and stood up, throwing away his half-empty coffee cup and stalking out to his car. He'd finally done it. While breaking up with Blaine was scary and sad, it was also liberating and by the time Kurt got to his destination, he was grinning. "I broke up with him," Kurt told the boy who answered the door.

Puck smirked and pulled Kurt into the house by his lapels, kissing Kurt roughly and promising, "Lauren is history as soon as you and I are done here, babe."

Kurt grinned again, throwing his arms around the back of Puck's neck and pulling him close for another kiss.

From the doorway to Kurt's right, a small voice cried, "Ew! Ma! Noah's kissing a boy!"

"That's nice," a woman's voice called from somewhere in the back of the house, which made Kurt laugh.

"C'mon," Puck said, opening the front door and grabbing a set of keys from a hook next to the door. "I know the perfect place if you wanna make out, and stuff."

"I do," Kurt replied, letting Puck lead him back to his car and taking the directions Puck gave him. As they drove, Kurt couldn't help but look over at his passenger now and again and smile to himself. This was probably what love was supposed to feel like, wasn't it?


	23. Drabble 23 Vegas

_This idea was prompted by SlytheringSnake and julesmonster. Thanks, you guys!_

_Also, sorry for the long delay between updates. I got sick and left my laptop at work. All is good now, though :)_

Kurt knew it was a bad idea to attend Finn's Vegas-Weekend bachelor party, but his father had guilted him into it ("He's your brother, Kurt. I don't care that it's mostly his college football buddies, you're going!"). On some level he knew someone from high school would likely be there as well, but he wouldn't have guessed it to be Puck.

Having spent most of the weekend with his former glee-mate, because Finn was being monopolized by his more current friends, Kurt should have anticipated getting drunk together. There was no way he could have anticipated what came next.

"Hey, hey, man," Puck said, shaking Kurt awake on Sunday morning. "Do you know why we're naked?"

Waking up wide-eyed in horror, Kurt sat up and looked over at his bed partner, who was, indeed, naked. Then he saw the ring on Puck's hand and then the one on his own. "Oh, no!"

"Hey," Puck grinned, crawling closer to Kurt until they were pressed together, "it could be worse."

"How could this be worse?" Kurt asked, "I don't remember my own wedding. Oh, god, it must have been horribly tacky and ..." Seeing the wide grin on Puck's face, Kurt asked, "What?"

"At least now we both have dates to Finn's wedding next week," Puck replied, smothering Kurt in a heated, alcohol-flavored kiss.

_If you want a much better "Woke up married in Vegas" fic, go read over to LJ and read carolinecrane's fic "Trains"_


	24. Drabble 24 The Competition M rated

_In case you couldn't tell, I got this prompt from the kink meme on LJ!_

"So glad your folks are away," Puck breathed, sucking a hickey onto Kurt's flushed neck. "So fucking glad..."

"Mmm," Kurt moaned, fumbling with his belt despite the distraction of Puck's mouth. Then suddenly, Puck stopped. "What?"

"You hear that?" Puck asked, which made Kurt tilt his head and listen. His dad and Carole couldn't be home this early, could they? Then Kurt heard it - a moan coming from the other side of the wall, from Finn's room.

"Gross," Kurt sighed. "I do not want to do this with a Rachel Berry sound track."

"Well, then," Puck smirked, pulling Kurt's pants away, "you'll just have to be louder than her."

"Louder than Rachel Berry?" Kurt scoffed, gasping when Puck mouthed his cock through his underwear. "Ohhh!"

"Like that, Babe?" Puck asked as he pulled Kurt's underwear away and licked a hot stripe up his dick.

"Agghhh!" Kurt cried, fisting his hands in his bed sheets. "Oh, god!"

There was silence from the other side of the wall until Rachel cried, "Oooh, Finn!"

Oh, it was on!

"Yes, Noah, yes!" Kurt cried loudly, squirming as Noah sucked him down. "Oh, fuck, yes!"

"Please, Finn! Please!"

"More! Oh, shit, more!"

Then Rachel screamed as Finn's headboard hit the wall with a loud thunk, and then another thunk.

"Shit," Puck cried, grabbing the bottle of lube from where Kurt had set it out earlier. "We gotta catch up!"

Pretty soon Kurt's headboard was knocking against the wall in a steady, quicker-than-them rhythm that made Kurt keep screaming.

"Oh, fuck me, Noah! Fuck me harder!"

"Keep going, Finn!" Rachel screamed trough the wall, and Kurt could swear she was getting louder.

However, he was unable to form coherent words while his boyfriend kept battering his prostate like that. To continue with the silly competition, Kurt screamed with every thrust, hitting every note known to man and dog.

Before long, they finished to silence on the other side of the wall, which made Kurt giggle a little in relief. Puck started laughing with him, burying his nose in Kurt's neck as he did and pretty soon, Kurt could hear laughter from the other side of the wall as well.

"Good game, you guys!" Finn shouted in sportsmanship and all Kurt could do was meet his boyfriend's eyes and laugh even harder.


	25. Drabble 25 Jobsite Hero

_I guess this is a future-fic in my "Green Tea and Apologies" verse, but it stands alone well._

"Ah, crap!" Puck heard as he plopped his hard hat on and walked into the job site.

Walking up to Ted, he asked, "What's wrong, dude?"

The site manager scowled, "The god damned earth-mover died again and the repair guys are all busy and I can't get another one and-"

"Chill, man," Puck insisted, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I got a guy."

Twenty minutes later, Puck had his son balanced on his hip as they stood just outside the fence, watching Puck's husband put their piece of equipment back together. When Kurt bent over to get an arm inside the engine, Puck turned to Ted and grinned, "Yeah, I'm hittin' that."

"Daddy!" Jake complained, flicking Puck's nose. "Don't be gross. Dad says."

"What, I can't talk about how hot Dad is?"

"No!"

"How I want to kiss him all the time?"

"Nuh-uh!"

"How I-"

Puck was interrupted by an engine-muffled voice, "Noah, if I hear one more word..."

"See?"

"Shut up, little dude," Puck told his son, but hugged him anyway.

Before long, Kurt lifted himself out of the earth-mover engine and hopped up into the driver's seat, turning over the engine until it roared to life triumphantly. Smiling, Kurt left the engine running (just in case) and trotted back over to Puck's side, putting his hard hat back on its rightful owner's head, and wiping his greasy fingers on Puck's shirt.

"Thanks, babe," Puck said as he handed the kid over, stealing a quick kiss and smirking at the grease smear across his cheek that Kurt wasn't going to see for quite a while. "I'll tell Ted he owes you one."

"See if you can get his wife's tickets to the Gershwin. They have awesome seats for next weekend's show, if I'm remembering correctly."

Puck laughed, giving his husband another kiss and promising, "I'll see what I can do."

Kurt sauntered away with Jake on his hip and a quick, "Bye, fellas!" wave, earning a few good-natured whistles and one from Puck that was definitely not good natured.

_Any comments/reviews you would like to leave would be lovely! Thanks for reading :)_


	26. Drabble 26 Flood

Thunderstorms swept through Lima every summer and Kurt had never really thought much of them until he woke up cold and damp, with water licking at his toes. Before he could figure out what was going on and what that rushing sound was, the water crested over the edge of his mattress. Shouting in surprise, Kurt got up and grabbed the flashlight next to his bed, holding it up out of the water. The storms had been making the power go out every so often and it was impossible to see down in his basement bedroom without the light.

His entire room was flooded, with more water pouring down from the stairwell and his escape window completely covered with water and bursting at the seams. Crap, crap, crap, crap!

Breifly deciding his life was worth more than his designer pieces (if only just), Kurt waded toward the stairwell and climbed up, holding on tightly to the railing as the water tried to wash him back down. Water was rushing in through under the door at the top of the stairs, so Kurt linked his flashlight arm around the railing and opened the door slowly, losing his feet to the cascade of water that pushed the door the rest of the way open. Water forced its way up his nose and down his throat and Kurt came back up spluttering and coughing.

Holding on for dear life and trying to breathe, Kurt waited for the water to settle before trudging his way through the ankle-deep water covering the main floor of his house.

"Dad! Dad!" he cried, trying not to think too hard about how the cold wafer kept rising. "Dad!"

And then he realized - his Dad had gone out of town with Carole for the night. His house was flooding and he was all alone. Shivering in his soaked pajamas and starting to cry, Kurt found a poncho in one of the hallway closets and pulled the front door open, only to find a very wet, very out of breath Noah Puckerman standing on the stoop in the rain.

"Thank God," he cried, pulling Kurt into a wet hug. "The water's rising so fast and our place is completely flooded and you were alone in a basement and I thought-"

Hugging his secret boyfriend back, Kurt cried, "I'm so glad you came."

"C'mon, Babe" Noah said, his voice loud over the weather as he took Kurt's hand in a tight grip, "Finn's place is up on a hill. It should be dry."


	27. Drabble 27 The Runway

"No, no, no!" Kurt told his assistant as she tried to put the wrong accessory on one of his models. "Don't you know anything?"

"Sorry, Mr. Hummel," she squeaked, running away to find the right piece.

As Kurt sighed and turned to arrange everything in Jeffery's outfit just so, Margot spoke in his ear, "That replacement model is here. No time for a yea/nay vote on him, just decide which outfits he gets."

Wincing at the sudden pain in his head and noticing there was only half an hour until his part of the show began, Kurt nodded and told Margot, "Bring him here."

Kurt okayed Jeffrey and moved on to Stephan, ignoring the model's flirty smile. Sure, Kurt was single at the moment, but that didn't mean he wanted to jump into bed with one of his models. He was at least five years older than Stephan, and at twenty-eight to his twenty-three or so, it just felt wrong. Plus it made his work-life complicated, which Kurt did not need at the moment.

"Hey, Kurt!" a somewhat familiar voice called from behind him, making him pause what he was doing and turn around.

"Puckerman? What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, studying the man's face to make sure it was the same guy he remembered from high school.

"I'm yours," Puck replied, opening his arms and was that American Eagle he was wearing? Still?

"Mine?"

"I mean, my agency sent me," Puck amended. Holy crap, was he blushing? "I'm supposed to model your shit today."

This was the replacement Margot lined up? Kurt wasn't sure if he wanted to kill her or if seeing Noah Puckerman embarrassed and working at his mercy meant he should buy her that house in Spain instead. Pursing his lips and looking Puck up and down, Kurt decided, "First: my line is not shit, so keep that opinion to yourself. Second: I like the hair."

Puck rubbed his hand over his shorn-short, but not shaved hair and gave Kurt an appreciative smile.

"And third: you haven't aged a day since high school. How in the hell did you accomplish that?" Kurt gave Puck an expectant look and he just sort of stood there for a moment, like he expected Kurt to keep talking.

"Um," he began, as eloquent as always, "Sorry, dude. Thanks. And my ex owned a day spa. Always used to practice new techniques on me. So, we gonna do this or what?"

"Where is this ex of yours located?" Kurt asked as he waved Puck to follow him toward one of the dressing cubicles. "I think I'd like to talk to her."

"Him," Puck corrected, almost running into Kurt when he stopped and turned on his heel in shock. "And here in New York. Don't tell Pete I sent you though, he's still bitter I got the apartment in the divorce."

"Divorce?" Kurt asked, dumbstruck for a moment before shaking himself out of it. "Let me get this straight. In ten years' time, you became a runway model, married a male day spa owner and got divorced?"

"Not exactly in that order," Puck replied with a smirk, "but yeah, dude. Besides fashion, what's up with you?"

Kurt chuckled awkwardly before he realized what he was doing and stopped himself. "Oh, not much else. Here, go put..." he grabbed the first outfit Simon was supposed to wear before he broke his ankle skiing, "...these on. I hope to God they fit because otherwise I'd have to send you onto the runway naked and claim it was magic fabric."

"The Puckerman's new clothes!" Puck laughed, going into the cubicle and closing the curtain almost all the way before meeting Kurt's eye and saying, "Not that I could blame you. My birthday suit is all kinds of awesome."

Puck finished closing the curtain and Kurt found he was the one blushing this time. He vowed to make sure his assistant programed Puck's number into his phone, for several legitimate reasons and one very illegitimate reason.

_Thanks for all the reviews, guys! Just a few more drabbles left and I'd love to hear what you think of this one!_


	28. Drabble 28 Hijinks

"Shit," Puck sighed, rattling the gates a little. "It's padlocked. Bring a bolt cutter?"

"No," Kurt replied with a roll of his eyes. "But I did bring several hairpins for just such an occasion."

Puck held out his hand and hissed, "Give 'em here. I'll pick the lock."

"Ha!" Kurt laughed sharply, pushing Puck out of the way. "How many locks have you actually picked, Puckerman? You'll just screw it up."

"Oh," Puck scoffed, watching Kurt take a pin out of his pants somewhere and bend it using his teeth. "Like you know anything about crime? I'm the school badass, Kurt. You should have just left me to-"

The lock clunked open and the chain rattled as Kurt pulled it away with gloved hands and pulled open the gates. "You were saying?"

Puck dropped to one knee, grabbing Kurt's hand as he exclaimed, "That was so fuckin' awesome, you have to, like, marry me right now, dude!"

Kurt patted Puck on the Mohawk with an indulgent smile and said, "Not right now, sweetie. We have a mascot to kidnap."


	29. Drabble 29 Trust verse Camping

_In the land of odd coincidences otherwise known as Earth, on the same day I write about Puckurt crime, someone breaks into my house. I apparently came home in time to scare him off before he got anything expensive besides our good camera and a phone with a shattered screen and a GPS tracking program...*facepalm*_

_Also, this takes place later in my Fuckurtofsky trust!verse. Enjoy!_

Kurt watched as his kids ran around the campsite, Danny dutifully following after Ariel, and wondered again how his husbands had talked him into this. There was _nature_ everywhere and Dave and Noah looked about ready to strangle each other over how to put the tent together, Finn playing the mediator like always. Kurt sat back on his canvas chair (which was entirely too plain for Kurt's tastes, like it needed some embroidery or a little bedazzling), keeping his mouth shut on the issue.

Without warning, Danny hopped up on his lap, shoes getting mud and pine needles everywhere, and said, "Hi, Daddy!"

Settling the five-year-old more securely on his lap, Kurt kissed his son's hair, straightening it as he replied, "Hello, Daniel."

"How come you're not helping with the tent?"

"Because I'm supervising," Kurt replied, taking a sip of water from the flask Finn had given him. It was Burberry patterned, which made Kurt smile.

"Daddy Noah says you're just sitting on your ass."

"You know we don't use that word," Kurt scolded, sending Noah a look, just as the man seemed to figure out what was wrong with their "shelter" for the night and holler in victory. "And I'm in charge of the food. Want to help me get everything ready for when Daddy Finn lights the fire?"

"Sure!" Danny agreed, taking Kurt's hand and pulling him out of his chair. "I love cooking with you, Daddy. Daddy Finn always burns things and Daddy Dave can't even make mac n' cheese right."

"What about Daddy Noah?"

Danny scoffed, "He does everything okay except he won't put ham in my grilled cheese! He's awful."

Chuckling, Kurt grabbed the tub of food from the truck and as he carried it to the (woefully dirty) picnic table insisted, "Daddy Noah isn't awful, he's just Jewish. He doesn't eat ham or anything else that comes from a pig. It's called keeping Kosher."

"Keeping Kosher sucks," Danny insisted, earning a surprised stare from Noah and hidden chuckles from Finn and Dave.

Ariel, always helpful, hit her brother on the back of the head and insisted, "You're not supposed to say that word either, Dan."

"Oh, yeah?" Kurt's son replied dramatically. "Make me!" Then he took off again, leaving Kurt to finish dinner prep alone, which was probably for the bast as far as hygiene was concerned.

Later, when everyone heaped together on Finn's opened-up sleeping bag to stare up at the stars and Kurt had Noah's head in his lap, Ariel playing with his hair, and Dave whispering in his ear about constellations, smelling nicely of woodsmoke and sweat, Kurt decided maybe camping wasn't all bad.

_I can't believe it's almost over!_


	30. Drabble 30 The End

Puck sighed as he hung up _another_ one of Kurt's shirts. Sure, most of his stuff was dry-clean only, but he was really particular about the stuff that wasn't and after the second time Puck accidentally shrunk a sweater, just the tiniest bit … well, let's just say that Puck didn't shrink sweaters anymore.

He often wondered why he got stuck doing laundry and mowing the lawn, when Kurt liked to criticize his work with such a heavy-hand, but Kurt said, "We're equals, Puck. We do the same amount of housework and that's that. If you have any opinions about how I cook and do the dishes every single night, I'd love to hear them."

"We should have meatloaf more," Puck replied, smirking when Kurt made an annoyed noise and shook his head as he walked away. What? Kurt's meatloaf was awesome.

Puck eventually, maybe two or three years in, realized that when Kurt spent all day criticizing the people around him as his job, he had a hard time leaving it at work. He started greeting Kurt after he got home with a loud kiss and a no-nonsense, "Bitch-mode off?"

It made Kurt laugh and broke the tension he carried around all day, so Puck kept doing it. Eventually their son started greeting Kurt that way too, much to Puck's amusement and Kurt's dismay. Just hearing that little, tiny voice say, "Hi, Daddy! Bitch-mode off?" was enough to have Puck chuckling for a minute or two, every day.

When Puck was sick of his construction job, he went to the police academy and then got a job as a patrol officer. He started coming home to Kurt asking, "Cop-mode off?"

Most days Puck could smile, put himself in his husband's arms and nod happily. Some days he couldn't. Kurt didn't seem to mind too much, and Puck was always grateful for that.

The day their son left for college, Puck folded and packed Jake's clothes while Kurt made him breakfast and double-checked that the car was running well and that damn tire was still holding pressure alright. Driving home, Puck asked sadly, "Parent-mode off?"

Kurt looked over at him from behind the wheel, wiping the corner of one of his eyes and replied, "Never."

_This whole month has been amazing you guys, and a big part of me is glad that it's done with, partly because there's so much else to do and partly because I can now be proud of myself for making it to the finish line. On the other hand, I'm going to miss writing all these little fics and all your great reviews! I **won't** miss all the plot/story ideas that I get from them and the guilt over how few of them I'll probably get back to! It's been awesome! –Ptera_


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